I have struggled with the idea of changing the title of my WordPress blog now that time has passed since the raw early days of my grief. It would seem that, yes, time has somewhat soothed my first stage of sorrow yet has left scar tissue that tends to weep at times. I will always miss Brandon as I live out the rest of my life on this earth. I no longer experience the deep veined sorrow that suffocated me in those first years. God has hugged me through it all. He has kept His promise to help me through this hard life. I have drawn close to God and He has drawn close to me. It is well…I have had many blessings in my life. I count my family as first among them. This past year my husband and I became great grandparents to Cooper Noah Wilkinson. What a wonderful feeling.
Cooper was born in August and less than three months afterwards my 87 yr. old mother, Ruth, died. Two new births; his into this life, my mother’s into the next where Brandon awaits…. and life goes on. Ten years have been long and cruel some days and then too fast to believe on others .I have shared how God has ministered to me through the song, It Is Well With My Soul, to assure me of Brandon’s place in Heaven for all eternity. It continues to this day. God still sends me that special song. Today the pianist played softly a beautiful rendition while I knelt at the altar to receive communion. I am always overwhelmed by the mercy and love shown to me from my heavenly Father.
The title of my blog directs those people who are in a terrible sadness from the death of a loved one by suicide. Even though we have our doubts that our son really died this way, I still teeter between the what ifs and the reality of his death certificate. I don’t claim to have any answers for my readers except to say they should not feel their loved one who took their own life was condemned to hell because of that act alone. The only thing that sends anyone to hell is the rejection of Jesus Christ as Savior. I share here on this blog only what I believe God would have me to share.
I received an encouraging comment from Debbie D. on the About portion of this blog. She told of how my blog had been of some help to her because of her own loss to suicide. It does my heart good that somehow in this blog born from agony that it will benefit another mother or father looking for answers, for hope, or a comradery of sorts that no one would choose but knows it is here for the finding. God bless us all.