Just the other night my husband asked me why didn’t I write anymore. Out of the blue. I didn’t know he cared. I have written in some facet or another since I was a kid. I used to write short stories and circulate them among my school friends who were completely amused because I would insert each of them into the stories. I would also write poems and enter whatever contests were being held. I won first place when I was in second grade for my very elementary poem about the month of June. I think it encouraged me to continue. I also had a father and grandfather who were inspirational because they were writers. As I aged and became a wife and mother my interests changed and writing was put to the side. I was more devoted to doing all that a mommy does. My love for writing crept back in over time.

I used to think that to be a ‘real’ writer one must be published, but I have since determined that to be incorrect. A writer writes. Period. A writer has a story to tell. I have always understood from taking various writing courses in college that a writer writes about what he/she knows.

I like those things to which I can relate. Real. While real is painful it can also be hopeful. My son, Brandon, was a writer, as well. He loved it and wanted to be published. He never got that chance. In a way, I have sworn off writing with any hopes of being published in any significant way because why should I if Brandon didn’t?  I already have two books of poetry published with Brandon as illustrator of one but of course, that was before….it is now that keeps me from doing that which both of us loved at one time. I guess I still write…this blog, for instance, but it is not for publication. It is too real. The pain of loss to suicide or murder….tragedy.

The night before last I was talking to God in a casual, non prayer like way. I had realized that it had been quite a while since I had heard anything with “it is well”…our song. I cried about other people still having their children alive and well. People that I had decided weren’t worthy of even having children. ( I know, I know…who am I?) Yet, God is so wonderfully good to me even when I dare to speak such things. Even when I am in the river of self-pitied tears. Fast forward to today when I am driving down the road scrolling through radio stations and I stop at some unfamiliar station…an unfamiliar song is on….I like the sound…the calm…then the words just hit me with a subtle God Soft Hands Jesus (; Paul)  and I am praising my Lord for talking to me….loving me….being here for me…and loving my son….I have to be a storyteller…tell what I know…what is real…painful and joyful…like life is. Thank you,  God. I love you.



  1. ” A writer writes. Period.” This is truth, Dale. And your post reminded me, when I was teaching, every year at Christmas, I wrote a lengthy poem, a la “T’was The Night Before Christmas,” that was peppered with the names of all the children in my class. It always delighted them as they waited to hear their name.

    Yes, our blogs are our writing – whether storytelling or poetry or sharing the gospel – it is writing the words from deep within our soul, shared and published non-traditionally on this strange medium for anyone to see (just because we don’t charge a fee doesn’t mean it isn’t published). We write to offer our hearts, to give us peace, and to change the world one person at a time. Our writing is no less valuable than if we sold one million copies or if our posts landed on some best-seller list. We write because we care; because we are writers. ❤


  2. Thank you for sharing your invaluable perspective, Susan. I think what is most important to me now is how the message of God’s love, as imparted to me, should be told regardless of my reluctance…for whatever reason.

    It is like a new gospel to me each time I am sent “it is well!”😄 I must not keep secret the sacred singing of God in my ear. Hugs❤️


  3. That is a beautiful song, Dale. And an amazing way God showed you His love! I’m all about, telling how He brought me out of the pit of suffering that is child-loss. Have you checked out Amazon’s affiliate, CreateSpace ? I’ve been working since Christmas-time…(one time will be enough for me). But that is all I feel God has called me to do–write about (to share) how He has helped me through the loss of my family.

    I think that Brandon would absolutely want you to get published again. It is HIS INFLUENCE that would be a major part of your work!…he really would be a “co-writer” in a sense. You are actually “partners” in writing that book! I think a book about surviving child bereavement from suicide, showing how God helped you, would be an incredibly helpful faith booster for those of us who love Christ! When you’re ready to write this… you will know!

    With an abundance of love,



  4. I feel that Brandon would want you to get published if it’s something you wanted to do. Based on what you’ve written about Brandon, I don’t think withholding any art from the world, esp. yours, is something he’d be in favor of.

    Think of it this way, if Brandon were alive, and you had passed, wouldn’t you want Brandon to get published? If you change your mind, check out or lulu 😉

    But I understand your feelings, Dale, and I don’t dismiss them. I only mean to offer a perspective, hopefully in a gentle way.

    Love to you


    • Dear Andy, somehow someway your comment from 2017 was not read by me until tonight!! I apologize. As always, I thank you for your thoughtful comment and loving encouragement. It does mean so much to me. I will check out the link you sent. I hope you have been well, as well as your family. God bless you.


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