First Christmas minus Jaie

The unspoken thoughts of heartbreak by another mother who has lost her youngest son to suicide. All of our holidays are different for a lifetime.

Jaie's Journey Inc. ~ Our New Normal After Death by Suicide. IA55787

I’m still trying to figure out how we arrived at this point. My youngest son has been lost to suicide. I can barely function in public now, for any extended period especially. My eldest son wanted to miss Christmas because he didn’t want to acknowledge his little brother is really dead. I just cooked. And cooked. And then cooked some more. Now the Freezer is half full of Christmas food as is the fridge. That’s even after giving Deon 7 containers full of food to take home with him. The problems with suicide and the grief it causes is the never ending circles your head goes around in. There’s no stopping it. You know the saying, ” All roads lead to Rome.” Well now it’s all thoughts lead to suicide. And Jaie. And I’m feeling as if I’m slowly losing my mind with the repeat of words and phrases.

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