A Grieving Mother Dies By Suicide/Depression

Rhonda Gay Elkins July 16, 1960 – August 29, 2014 Mother of Kaitlyn (died April 2013)

In the five years since the death of my son by suicide, I have learned so very much about the deep emotional pain from this loss. It is a pain like no other. I have become acquainted with other parents who have lost their children to other types of death, but we who have struggled with the stigma of suicide are profoundly grieved in a very complicated way. It in no way lessens the loss of those mothers whose children have died by other ways. But there are questions that leave us yearning to ask “WHY?” of our children…other people…. who have died by suicide, each answer being individual but connected by disease, each labeled differently. It prompts a curious inquisition that has so many avenues that one gets lost in this mapless quest.

I first became connected to Rhonda last year not long after her daughter’s suicide. We made short commentary on each others’ blogs but never had a strong “friendship” for whatever reason. However, I did make a Christmas ornament with Kaitlyn’s photograph and sent it to Rhonda last Christmas, her first without her precious daughter. We were both searching for answers and somehow comfort in this sad circumstance. While she wrote a book, I have vowed never to write a book because my son never got the chance to see any of his manuscripts published. I can’t find comfort in pursuing something that we both loved so much. I blog….that is my written word.

My heart goes out to the Elkin family to lose yet another family member to the dark disease of depression. At least, Rhonda can now see her “bright and shining star” up close forever.


  1. I am just heartbroken! She was one of the first people to reach out to me after I started blogging! Though all of us have never met, we are a close knit group bonded by our loss. I pray for her and all of us!


  2. How sad…the early years of child loss do seem unbearable. I am sorry for the loss of your friend, Dale. I wonder if she received professional care after her loss-such a tragedy…



  3. I too made a connection with Rhonda through my own blog. I started it right after the death of our 24 year-old son in December. When I heard of her death through another mutual friend, I immediately thought the worst. My heart goes out to her family, there are no words to describe nor can we imagine what they are now going through. We can only wish them whatever peace they can find in this world.


  4. Brandon and You connect in that sacred writers space … honor your gift, dear friend … may you fuel that spark of creation and grow its eternal flame to shine brightly so full of life … with ability, with love, with celebration, and with honor towards “… the boy with the utmost love of which (your) soul is capable … (because you) feel a thousand times richer than if (you) had never possessed it.”

    Loving you and Brandon, with the spirit of “on we go …”


    • Thank you sweet #9 for your encouragement and eloquence. Your “story teller’s “heart is always an inspiration. My only hope is time. Your wonderful mom has left an indelible warrior spirit in her ninth child…”on we go” is how she would want…and in my heart of hearts know this to be Brandon’s wish as well. He was a warrior, too. Love and Remembrance of our lovely loved ones.


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