The Muse has spoken…..

…I have vowed to post something each day, of this, my son’s birth month. Yesterday’s blog was posted last night so this morning’s post seems too early but while the muse is upon me I will write. A new dear friend who is suffering the grief over the passing of her beloved daughter sent me an email and in it she asked me if I believe that we all have an appointed time to die. My response is one I have searched out for myself because of the suicide death of my son. It is a terrible thing for a person of faith to be in a position of weakness and doubt. Death can take us there in an instant because it disrupts all that we know. It is a taker..and we are left bereft and bankrupt of all that made us whole. God uses those very people in the Bible who have experienced such and more to further His purpose. It is never the strong and religious but those who are truly humbled because of life’s battles. We are made strong because of our weakness…only because of God.

My conclusion has been that although God’s will may not have been that my son would die but that when he died God made a way for him to with Him in Heaven by His own son Jesus Christ. As for all the other how-to’s and what-to-do’s mentioned in the Bible…they are there to let me know that I cannot be “good” enough to get to Heaven. I will never be “good enough” but only through Christ can I be made “good” in the eyes of God. Works will never be the reason I go to Heaven, While doing good is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, it is not the reason that I will be with Him for all eternity. I hope this explains to those who may be questioning.

In my search I have found various answers to the same question that use the very same scriptures. Mind boggling. I don’t try to persuade anyone to my understanding simply because it is MY understanding. I believe that my personal belief and trust in God has led me to the answers of peace for my own personal situation which I have made known throughout my blog. When I have gone to various religious sites that all claim to “know” the spiritual answers to my grieving heart, I have come away very disappointed. Many Christian denominations seem to be just as curious with no real answers except for ones they sometimes construct by using verses taken out of context of the story it relates to. A very dangerous thing to do, imho. This is why I don’t subscribe to one “belief” as in religious denomination. I worship in a Methodist church but I worship God everywhere, anywhere, anytime. My Christian belief is based on the Gospel…The Living Word…the saving power of Jesus Christ. The United Methodist Church is one that comes the closest to how I believe in my heart and mind. Denominations divide Christians. One professes over the other that they are the “right one.” If my heart is right then I am right in the sight of our Lord…and I pray that if I am wrong that He will gently guide me to where I need to be.

“The Living Word” is another title for the Bible. It is alive every day with every circumstance it presents. God speaks to the reader’s heart. His word is just as alive today as it was when He spoke audible words to Moses. We have to be receptive to His word and know that He only allows us to know some things…not everything. He is God. I must rejoice in His wisdom and ask that “His will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.” I can have peace that passes all understanding when I allow Him to work in my life and also in answer to this terrible tragedy…as best as I can understand it. Yes, “little ole me” who has never had a bit of seminary education…most certainly am not a theologian…is just a fleck of dust in this big old world…but God has spoken to my grieving heart just the same. Mankind has made getting close to God a near impossibility with all their laws and legalities and condemnation…all stemming from their theological views of a Bible that not all understand! I am reminded that the thief on the cross had only a few minutes to “know” Jesus and was promised by Jesus that he would be with Him in Paradise from that moment. The thief had spent a life without Jesus doing crimes and was forgiven in one breath. That is the Jesus I know. He forgives.

I have decided that I can find just as many reasons in scripture why God may have allowed my son to die a death by suicide that it is no more condemning than any other sin, as I can find those verses that condemn and are about God’s wrath. I choose to know the love and grace of God…embrace His mercies and know Who He is as my son did in his lifetime, through Christ Jesus. Truly, we are all sinners and none of us get out of here alive unless Jesus returns first.

These biblical passages are comforting, but I am not familiar with all that the religious site from whence it was taken claims as gospel. My answer to anything about finding answers it to pray about it and let God lead the way.

It is biblical that: Ecclesiastes 3:2   a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,:

I took this explanation from here:
“We will never understand all of the “why’s” of many deaths.  Why they happen “like” they do.    Why they happen “when” they do.  We must look by faith to our Savior, that He knows the     “why’s,” and we must trust Him.  “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” (Holy Bible, Proverbs 3:5,6)

God is not always sad when a person dies.  “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.” (Holy Bible, Psalm 116:15)  God loves to have one of His children come home to be with Him.

Sometimes, the Lord may be taking a righteous person home to spare that one from future hardships. “The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart: and merciful men are taken away, none considering that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come.” (Holy Bible, Isaiah 57:1)from here:

To all my grieving friends who have lost a child, I pray for God’s wisdom to speak to you and give you peace. This is a tricky terrain of ups and downs and we are on it for a long time. God will not fail us or let go of us…I hope this drawing from when Brandon was younger will speak to your heart.

076 (2)Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.         2 Corinthians 1:3-4


  1. I love that drawing of Brandon’s! Even at a tender age, he knew more about Jesus than many twice his age (or more!)

    I had moments when reading the link (about God and timing of death), where I was questioning the author. For me, trying to figure out the timing regarding the early physical deaths of my Lisa (age 9 and a 1/2 months) and Michael (age 27 months) was helped by a Scripture the author did not cite…Psslm 139:16…

    “…All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be”. This reminds me of God’s great power and omniscience. The “why” still remains, as does my certainty, that God “allowed” this tragedy to unfold the way it did.

    Man’s free will can cause death-this is the essence of “the problem”. Why God intervenes to prevent death sometimes…and sometimes not…can never be answered completely while we’re still mortal. A couple of seconds would have made all the difference-in us missing the 10 ton truck, that struck our vehicle-killing 3 of us 4, instantly.

    Choosing to trust God, even though we don’t understand the “why?”…is exceedingly difficult, but full of blessing!



    • Godcidentally, I did relay this very verse Psalm 139:16 in an email to my friend who inspired my writing today. I posted only an excerpt from the article. The author may have referred to that verse. I don’t know.
      Thank you for your comment. You always add to my posts in such a fantastic and insightful way. xoxo


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