About Last Night…..

….oh, how I cried inside my heart as the fireworks began and ended with their final big boom concussions….it could have well been the sound of my heart breaking all over again.

I miss you my sweet guy. I stayed up the entire night in my room…playing solitaire and listening to the radio. You would love Pandora, Brandon. You would absolutely love the new Transformer movie, too. Remember when you brought the first Transformer movie to our house in Alabama for all of us to watch. You were like the little boy you used to be. What happened to all the Transformers you used to have? I can’t believe there isn’t one among the things I have saved from your childhood. Of course, I have your matchbox cars and some of your football action heroes…some of your clothes….like the little shirt that says #1 Son……you will always be our only and #1 Son.

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2 thoughts on “About Last Night…..

  1. The fourth was Natalie’s birthday, and she was in France. A friend asked if I wanted to go to dinner with her and her son, watch the fireworks after. No, I told her, I don’t feel like celebrating. I didn’t feel like being anywhere NEAR celebrating. Before Philip left for college, he worked at an ice cream place that used to set up a stand where the town had their fireworks. I have two pictures on my blog’s photo page of Philip working the stand – and what I felt most this fourth was that – that one night of him doing that, that he was there and now he isn’t and I tell you, Dale, I’m feeling like I can’t bear this. But I do, as do you.

    • The unbearableness of being is like living in a strange land. I am thankful for those days when peace overwhelms me like the sun’s warmth in winter. I understand not wanting to be anywhere there is celebration…no one knows but we who have a heart that is hurting. God’s offer of hope is all we have and that is the only way I can DO this. God bless you. I know you can’t wait for Natalie to be back home.

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