It is well……

“It Is Well With My Soul” by Brandon Heath

My son’s name is Brandon Heath. He is in heaven as a result from dying from depression….a sometimes fatal disease. People who knew Brandon knew he was a witty, loving, talented, and compassionate person. I remember joking with him that “he had made a cd”…that someone (Brandon Heath the Christian singer)  had “stolen his name.”  He smiled that deep dimpled smile of his and said that he had heard of Brandon Heath the singer who was new to the contemporary Christian scene a few months before my Brandon died.

Brandon Heath the singer made this recording and I discovered it while viewing Christian videos on youtube. Another thing I noticed when finding this song on Youtube is the date it was uploaded….March 5th, 2013…almost 4 yrs to the day of my son’s passing, March 6, 2009. This song has a history with me since the early days of my grief.

I grew up hearing “It Is Well With My Soul” in church but it had no impact on me until…..when a few months after my son died, I begged God to send me a sign that my son was with Him. Even though, I knew that my son was a Christian, the devil wanted me to think differently because of the way my son died….by suicide.

It was during communion that as I knelt at the rail to receive the blood and body of my Savior…that the song began to play. I had already prayed that I receive a sign before I approached the rail. After the first three notes played I KNEW. This song has played countless times for me during communion…at the rail….following my most difficult days since my son passed.

I never knew the history of this song until I looked more into it. If you go to the internet and google the song’s title…there it is. The song was written by Horatio Spatford following the deaths of all his children; a most horrific loss. The song has even more meaning to me than ever before. I share with any who will listen of how this song has been sent to help me through my grief by a person who also dealt with his own children’s deaths. I thank God for this song always. I hope it brings you peace, too.

This song was given to me by my Lord during the worst time of my life. He continues to send it to me in most wonderfully unexpected ways. I am forever thankful for His mercy, love, and grace



12 thoughts on “It is well……

  1. This is a beautiful post about how God gives us glimpses into His sovereignty and how He hovers over us when we are in deep despair. He hurts deeply with us, but he gifts us with heavenly glimpses. I have found that when God has a gift that He can give us, He runs to meet us. That’s how I feel about special songs. I have some true stories about certain songs that God has blessed me with as well. While reading your story of God’s affirmation and care, I was reminded of Elijah’s story in 1Kings 17. He was deeply depressed and running for his life from the wicked Queen Jezebel. Elijah was alone and had no food. That wasn’t a problem for God – he had the ravens feed Elijah. That’s why I think and know now that God is not distant in the unthinkable suicide. He is right there to rescue and He does. Bless you, sweet sister & keep blogging. You are bringing much comfort to me and are standing tall for God.

    • You know, when I first heard the song at the communion rail, the organist played it but the times that followed the choir sang it. I say that because the words…especially the title, “It Is Well With My Soul” took me by surprise…surprise that God was listening to my cries and knew what I would relate to in a hymn. His voice..His timing. He knew I would know the words without a choir. To people who don’t know, it means nothing. When the bad days come…and they do….I reflect on this miracle message that is a wonderful reminder of His faithfulness.

      There are a number of people in the Bible who suffered depression and also, either contemplated suicide and/or died by suicide. God did not forsake them, as you have reminded me with the story of Elijah. Thank you for your kindness. I am sad that we have to go through this time of trial and loss, but it must be a part of God’s plan for us to be here sharing our stories of faith. I am glad to have my Christian family surround me with love and prayers. You are a blessing to me.

  2. I love Brandon Heath’s fresh “take” on this revered,classic hymn! Thanks for sharing this version. I agree, it cannot possibly, just be a coincidence- that your beloved son and the singer of this sacred song…share the same name!

    What struck me, knowing the “background history” of the song’s writer, was the emphasis he places on the future. Grappling with this huge, earthly loss…and yet, choosing to focus on the Glory to be had in the future.

    As you know Dale, it will be 30 years for me, this December, when my entire family transitioned. And there was no way I thought I’d ever feel “peace” again. But God IS a miracle worker, enabling me to move forward after severe loss.
    The process has to happen at one’s own pace– it cannot be hurried or rushed. All I can say, is that when the first glimmers of Brandon-drawing light rush in through the window–GO TOWARD IT!!! …and “don’t look back”…! I think Your dear son Brandon…gave you the key to survival in that drawing…the “how to” to survive his early transitioning…Wow, what a blessing! Even the incompetent cops agreed…~that was an important communication tool~-bringing it to EVERYONE’S attention!

    • “ALL things work to the good to those who love Jesus…” You have connected all the dots, my sweet friend. I haven’t thought about it like you have…it makes sense, Donna, that the cops brought it to our (not intentionally) attention in a way that may have gone unnoticed and quite frankly…thrown away by those who were there (his friend and wife)….because I was told by Natalie that his friend was very upset (that night) and tore all the pictures that Brandon had drawn off the wall. I am glad you shared that thought with me. xo

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