October Blue

For me and my family, October has always been a wonderful month. I have always been about making family traditions that will be memorable for my children and their children. Autumn heralds in the season of clear crisp nights, sweater weather, leaves burning, bonfires, football, chili, roasted marshmallows, our annual Halloween party with everyone wearing costumes….just making things fun for the little ones and scary for the older kids….playing games, dunking for apples, etc….those are the things that once were. Since our son has passed and the grandchildren have gotten older, none of those past traditions of October…November…December….have the same value anymore. In fact, we just don’t do it. There are some traditions that will always remain, as in Thanksgiving and Christmas, but Halloween was just a kid’s time of playful dress-up and such. It was always about our family fun time.041 (2)This photo is of Brandon when he was 8 yrs old in a homemade rendition of Freddy Kruger..(tin foil fingernails and all…) .with his sister, Vanessa, in our homemade scarecrow costume.

Brandon had the best time of any of us during Halloween because he was just a big kid at heart. He loved to scare his nephews who loved to be scared. Our last Halloween party was the most memorable for that reason. Brandon knew how to scare………in his Leather Face costume,  he waited around the corner of the house where it was dark for the boys to come around and then he started up the chainsaw….and BOY did they scream like little girls…running as fast as they could. Brandon got a real kick out of that and so did they.

Of course, our entire lives have been altered and fun is …well, …relative. I have lost my zeal for making anything fun anymore. Our October is the month that brings in the other months so to speak….it is the beginning of the holidays…October, November, and December….then there is January and February….the two months of 2009 that were my son’s last….and then there is March 6th….that dreadful anniversary of his passing. Six months of emotional stress…as if they are the only months. There is Easter in April…Mother’s Day in May, Father’s Day in June….and then Brandon’s birthday in July…he would have been 34 yrs this past July…..a year of memories and sadness…on and on and on……

My hope rests in my faith…faith that assures that my family and I will be reunited again in Heaven with Jesus. Our days here on this earth are short …some glorious and some tragic. Family traditions will one day fade and be forgotten. After this life…we have so much more to look forward to…our Lord is good and loving. He will wipe all our tears away and we will be joyful for eternity.  This is what makes me able to cope in ways I never thought I could.

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4 thoughts on “October Blue

  1. With 3 family members killed in a wreck–the “difficult” days came way too fast and “furiously”… I think I just plain got tired–from having the calendar year, nothing but sadness! That helped propel me into thinking about what lays ahead, vs what had “passed”… I had to make a choice–“Choose LIFE…or choose DEATH” to focus on. That day, I chose “LIFE”–and never regretted it–concentrating only on our upcoming reunion and the joy they now enjoy–until we embrace again…

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